I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
