I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
