Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
