My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Can I color on your dick again?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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