Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
