I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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