My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
