we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize