What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
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Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I would fuck him just for his dog
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