Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Life is so much better after having sex.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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