are you still at the devil's house?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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