So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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