I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.