Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
