Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
