Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
