i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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