Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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