yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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