I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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