I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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