I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My life is pants optional.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
