"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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