O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
