So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize