His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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