how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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