his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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