Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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