Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
