You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
