I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Randomize
