i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
