My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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