i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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