Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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