Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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