office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.