Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
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I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
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well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void