They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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