I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old