why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
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Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
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The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
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I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....