ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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