they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We are all done wearing pants today
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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