this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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