If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
