And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
