Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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