You work out of a Hotel?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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