you traded sex for a burrito?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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