I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
