you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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