maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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