oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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