So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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