The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize