Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
