Why does Corona taste like a burp?
nutella sex= disaster
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
