then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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