I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think people are normalizing furries
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
