Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
