yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
