I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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