Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
