my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
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There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
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I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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