shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
